This is Hans Vestberg, CEO of Verizon, and the man
ultimately responsible for destroying this website. It may not have been his
decision, but corporations being the top-down authoritarian institutions that
they are, he gets to say yes or no to any policy. This is the man responsible
for taking away your joy and the happiness of thousands of others. As the CEO
of Verizon he is also responsible for various schemes to end new neutrality and
fuck over poor people in general. He’s a horrible human being who puts profits
over people.
Let’s curse his ass.
Specifically, let’s curse his dick. Seems appropriate since
he’s taking away other people’s outlet for sexual gratification.
On the night of December 16th (midnight on the 17th
in your time zone), since we won’t be hanging out on tumblr, we will be
performing a mass curse/binding on Mr. Vestberg’s ability to feel love and
sexual release.
Feel free to come up with your own ritual according to your
own practice. Share your plans on tumblr, and let others know how to get it
done. Maybe add a curse jar, or burn his picture. Put all your mojo into it.
Your incantation may look something like this:
In the name of
Babalon, Great Harlot and Mother of Abominations, I curse you, Hans Vestberg.
May your penis remain flaccid.
May you be stripped of
all joy.
May those you adore
turn from you in disgust.
May all lips you kiss
taste of ashes.
May your love wither
away and go cold.
May you never find
release from your frustrations.
I beseech all spirits
who call me friend and ally to curse Hans Vestberg. I call all spirits at my
command to destroy his potency and take away his joy.
What you have done to
many, Hans Vestberg, may that return unto you.
Re-blog this! Post it everywhere! Share it with your uncle
that works in the media. Let’s get this fucker.
I will be reblogging this twice a day until it picks up steam.
I should have left Tumblr when Yahoo bought it.. But now I will in response to everything. It’s bittersweet. I feel like in my experience, before people often openly talked about mental health.. they came here. And that became strangers appreciating strangers. That helped me feel less alone once. Even though I was never tumblr famous.
About three things you must be sure before you read this story:
I am a grower, not a show-er. There is nothing terribly remarkable about my non-aroused junk.
I literally don’t care who sees me naked in the locker room. It took me a long time to be comfortable with my body, and I’m not in a locker room to flaunt it. I’m there to undress, shower, and dress.
My mood this morning is best summed up in these two gifs:
*** SO.
I’m in the locker room. I come out of the shower and go to my locker, and there are three guys at their lockers in the same area, all talking to each other. I pay them no mind because I don’t give a shit. I open my locker. I grab my underwear. I drop my towel.
One of the guys thought he was gonna try and be cocky and said, “You fuck chicks with that dick?”
…
My inner monologue at that exact second can best be summed up with this gif:
I turned around, completely naked, my apparently insufficient chick-fucking dick just hanging out for the world to see, looked the dude straight in the eye and said, “No, but I can take a dick like a champ. You tryna fuck?”
I have never seen a person so instantly regret a choice in my entire life. He started sputtering like a bottle of shampoo that was nearly empty and then just gave up and ran off while his friends just howled.
I calmly turned around and went about my life, minding my own goddamn business like a civilized adult.
